Can you have a blessing without being married
So follow their lead and do what makes YOU feel married. This is basically what I am planning on doing. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper. I mean, why do I need the government to tell me that my marriage is real?
FH and I are the only ones who get to decide that. Do it by your rules! You could take what you like from weddings cake, dress, dancing, poetry, whatever and have an anniversary party for your x-number of years together.
Tell friends and family to dress up! Host it in an awesome venue! Have fun! June 21, , summer solstice love celebration backyard acreage BBQ bonfire fireworks love fest. I like the option of having a ceremony in the church, having an officiant but just not signing the papers until everything is resolved. Not sure if the church or officiant would go for a non-legal religious ceremony. Many officiants would consider doing a commitment ceremony.
In their case, it is about a commitment in the eyes of God and is not actually required to be legal at all. It just so happens that historically, Church and State were merged so much that a legal marriage had to happen through the Church or some other religious entity. Agreeing with Dee. Oh my glob, you guys. You see, we had nothing. We just had an amazing weekend full of love and friends and family and food and fellowship and it was one of the best moments of my life.
We had a tough time in the few months right before the party trying to explain tte purpose of the event to the folks we really wanted to be there, and it was quite a learning experience in figuring out how to frame our emotions without resorting to defenseiveness which I did a lot at first.
Just come to THIS! ANYHOO: Gwen, this is all to say that you can have whatever you want and call it whatever you want and it will be beautiful and yours and amazing. And even though you may have some tough conversations, your friends and family that love you will see the light that shines in your face when you talk about your day and they will understand its importance. I am so excited for you. Any thoughts looking back on what you could call it to help people understand its importance but also its difference?
My daughter wants to do a handfasting commitment ceremony and not legally get married because of her future mother in law is getting ill very often she already had three strokes and her fiance is the only child she had. He wants to make a commitment in front of her instead of legally getting married since they both do not feel ready for the real thing just yet. Which I am okay with since I believe in not rushing into making an important vow commitment that is suppose to mean a lifetime marriage.
Future mother in law had said she thanks them for thinking of her but she rather have them wait and plan for the real wedding when they are ready.
Me and my boyfriend are having a handfasting in October. It will also be a pagan event cause of the fact that my family is not pagan.
Your email address will not be published. Sign me up for your offbeat awesomeness newsletter! Skip to content What if you don't want to get legally married, but you DO want to celebrate your commitment with your friends? Photo by Megan Finley. What kinds of non-wedding commitment ceremonies are there?
Related Post. Build a delicious marriage foundation with a unity sandwich. Of course! If one or both of you would prefer some kind of religious aspect to your day, or you both have different religious beliefs, a good compromise is to have a civil ceremony followed by a religious blessing, or for the couple to be married in one religious tradition and have a blessing in the other. Alternatively, you may choose not get married in church as you welcome the freedom of a civil ceremony that allows you to choose a fabulous, quirky venue of your choice, but be keen to have the marriage recognized in some spiritual manner.
Again, in order to achieve this, you could opt to have a blessing. For example, Anne and James got married in a register office and then had a blessing a few days later on the Cornish cliffs. This will normally take place in a church, though some priests are more flexible about venues. The bride is not escorted into the church or venue or given away by her father.
Bride and groom enter together, as husband and wife. There are many reasons a couple might not want a legally binding marriage! They might be financially disadvantaged as a married couple in the eyes of the law, like in countries where married couples are taxed at a higher rate than single people.
For these couples, a commitment ceremony serves their purpose of committing their lives to each other ceremonially, without ever having to answer to the government on the status of their relationship. Destination weddings are often hard to plan as legal ceremonies, for instance. Some countries also have very restrictive laws regarding a legal marriage. They might only recognize ceremonies that occur indoors at a religious institution, and you want to say your vows outdoors.
Some places require blood tests, waiting periods, or even ask you to arrive weeks in advance and apply for your license in person. Depending on the state or country, you might need to find an officiant or witnesses willing to cooperate with your ceremony vision.
All these loopholes, red tape, and coordination can be a hindrance to your unique vision for your day. The legal paperwork can be seen as just that, paperwork. Do whatever is advantageous and sensible for you.
When I got married, we exchanged vows and had a commitment ceremony in Peru despite being from the United States and Scotland. We had already signed all the paperwork nine months prior, but we consider the mountain top ceremony in Peru to be the day we got married.
Our day was about our wants, our needs, and our vision — no one else. However, depending on your personal beliefs and perspective, some of these cons might hold weight, so you should choose the avenue right for you and your relationship.
At the end of the day, if you do a commitment ceremony and your paperwork on another day, you two can get married anywhere in the world you want. Less stress, less expense, no rules or restrictions. If you can travel there, you can say your vows there. We love being based in Colorado because you can self-solemnize on your wedding day, but not many other locations are so flexible.
Signing the legal documents on the day of your wedding means coordinating with more people than just you and your partner. Skip that step entirely and you only have to coordinate those you want present at your ceremony! Getting legally married often involves specific step-by-step instructions or jargon that might not feel personally relevant to you or your partner. Ditch that! Another bonus benefit of commitment ceremonies is that you can have anyone officiate!
A Note on Officiants: However, if you DO choose to get legally married on your wedding day — all 3 of us have been ordained! In most states, we can legally sign your marriage certificate, and there are creative ways to find witnesses if you need those signatures too! This can be a pro or con, but signing your marriage certificate on a different day than your ceremony results in two anniversaries! You can choose to ditch the legal date and focus on your ceremony anniversary, or this can be an opportunity to embrace more opportunities to celebrate your relationship.
We are firm believers that those who love you, should support your decisions.
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